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Birthday fic for Callisto

Posted on 2009.02.16 at 15:02
Current Mood: rushedrushed
Tags: , ,
Aargh! Bugger! I missed Callisto's birthday! Sorry, hun, hope you had a fantastic one and aren't too hung over now. :D

By way of a combination of apology and present, I offer a slightly silly, but hopefully sweet, and certainly apposite, bit of dialogue!fic (Pros, natch.)

“Beautiful night, innit?”


“Oi, Bodie. I say, beautiful night.”

“What? Yeah, suppose so. You got any more of those beers over there?”

“Hang about – yeah. Here you go.”


“Look at all those stars. Never see that in London, would you? Too much bloody light. See that there, Bodie? That’s The Plough.”

“Get off. We’re miles from a pub. Not a bad idea, though.”

“No, you idiot, that group of stars there.”


“Look – just there. The ones that look like a saucepan. It’s a constellation called The Plough.”

“Oh yeah. No it’s not.”

“Not what?”

“Not a constellation. Technically it’s a group of stars in the constellation of Ursa Major. The Great Bear.”

“Right. Patrick bloody Moore are we now?”

“Can I help it if my knowledge is superior?”

“Yeah, sure. If I want help finding any constellations called ‘The Slapper’ I’ll come to you first.”

“Very funny. As it happens, Ursa Major is a woman.”

“A bird called the Great Bear? Sounds a right looker.”

“She was, as it goes. Her name was Callisto. She was a follower of the goddess Artemis. Promised to stay a virgin, but Zeus decided he fancied a bit. So he disguised himself as Artemis, came down and had his wicked way with her.”

“By dressing up as a woman? That way inclined, was she?”

“Must’ve been. Hadn’t thought of it that way. Still, they were Greek. Anyway, he left her with one in the oven, and Artemis chucked her out. Then Zeus’ wife found out and turned her and the kiddie into bears. Hence, the Great Bear.”

“Well, thank you Bodie for that unexpected astronomy lesson. Most impressive. You finished that beer yet?”

“Just about. Wh – oof! What the hell are you doing?”

“Checking. How’s your virginity looking?”

“Um. Under threat, thanks for asking.”

“Believe it. Now c’mere and spread ‘em, you great bear.”


GRITS in Misery
gritsinmisery at 2009-02-16 15:09 (UTC) (Link)
Heee! What fun.
I, being poor, have only my dreams.
bistokids at 2009-02-16 17:23 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you! *g*
msmoat at 2009-02-16 15:20 (UTC) (Link)
Oh, now, that's a nice birthday gift! And very appropriate on all levels! Heh. Thank you for sharing it with all of us!
I, being poor, have only my dreams.
bistokids at 2009-02-16 17:24 (UTC) (Link)
You're welcome - glad you liked it! :D
Strike while the irony is hot
draycevixen at 2009-02-16 16:03 (UTC) (Link)

Now that's fun on a Monday morning. *g*

Love the way Bodie moves rapidly from The Plough as a pub to actually knowing about the stars and the legend and nice way to work in Callisto.

Thanks for sharing. ♥
I, being poor, have only my dreams.
bistokids at 2009-02-16 17:25 (UTC) (Link)
I tend to see Bodie as someone who actively encourages being underestimated, and has a lot more knowledge than he usually lets on.

Glad you had fun with this. :D
callistosh65 at 2009-02-16 17:44 (UTC) (Link)
Oh Wow - that is such a lovely idea - I have this HUGE grin on my face now. Not only did I get my very own Pros birthday fic, but you even made it about Callisto!!!

I am touched and chuffed and everything in-between

You are star ::mwahh:: ('s a kiss, btw:))
I, being poor, have only my dreams.
bistokids at 2009-02-16 18:26 (UTC) (Link)
I recognise a kiss when I see one! :D

Ah yes, Callisto. An obvious topic for a fic about two 1970s government agents! Glad it made you happy - happy birthday again. *hugs*
saintvic at 2009-02-16 20:56 (UTC) (Link)
Oh I just love dialogue fic and this was wonderful fun from start to finish. Thanks for sharing it with all of us.
I, being poor, have only my dreams.
bistokids at 2009-02-18 13:20 (UTC) (Link)
Thanks for commenting, and I'm glad you liked it. :) (I love dialogue!fic too - I know there are some who are dead set against it, but I really can't understand what could possibly be so offensive about it. Just another of the great mysteries of fandom. A strange, strange world!)
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