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Fic: Smush (Sam/Gene, Brown Cortina)

Posted on 2012.07.31 at 00:00
Current Mood: sillysilly
Tags: , , ,
Geam? Honestly? I had no idea this term existed! I must fic.

Pretty sure it's whatever Cortina comes before brown, but I've forgotten the rating system. I'll edit it at some point.

Hello, by the way. :))))))))


"D'you ever wonder?"

Gene, used to the vagaries of Sam's post-orgasmic brain, let this seemingly random question pass unremarked, more interested in getting his heart rate down to a manageable level, hopefully in time for Round Two. When several minutes passed without further enlightenment, however, he resigned himself to the inevitable and took a deep breath.

“What?”

“Sorry, what what?”

Bestowing an irritable nudge with his elbow, Gene smirked covertly as Sam threw his arms out, scrabbling for purchase to avoid tipping over the edge of the bed. Serve him right for not replacing the shoddy piece of tat with a decent-sized bed that two self-respecting blokes could get their end away in without risk to life and limb.

“Do I ever wonder...what?”

Securely ensconced on the lumpy mattress once more, Sam took a moment, apparently reconnecting with his train of thought.

“You know,” he finally managed, with an uncharacteristic note of hesitation that definitely got Gene’s attention. “What it would be like. If...” Words seemingly failing him again, he lapsed back into silence.

“Bloody hell, Tyler, I’ve had piles that were less uncomfortable than this. Just spit it out, before we all die of old age.”

Sam pushed himself upright, swinging himself round so he was perched on the edge of the bed, presenting Gene with a ringside view of tensely set shoulders. And a smooth sweep of back, muscles clearly defined under skin so unexpectedly soft that touching it, stroking down it, never failed to send a jolt of...

“All right!” Sam’s defensive tone shook Gene reluctantly back to attention. “What it would be like if we could do this for real. All the time. No secrets, no hiding. Just...like a ...like a couple.”

Gene snorted. “Oh right. Whyever not? Me and you, strolling romantically into the Arms, blowing kisses at each other across a crowded office, holding hands in the canteen over a bowl of pink custard with two spoons. D’you fancy a church wedding or should we just nip down the Registry Office?”

Sam twisted round to glare at him, face brick red, a retort clearly on the tip of his tongue, but Gene was in full flow now, warming to his theme.

“Ooh Samantha, what’s this I hear? I do believe it’s the patter of tiny feet. Our own little treasure, how marvellous. We can call it Geam.”

“OK, now you’re just being ridiculous,” Sam muttered. “Nobody calls a baby Jam.”

“Not Jam, you twerp. Ge-am. Ge- for me, -am for you. Geam Tunt, our own little pride and joy.”

Reluctantly, Sam smiled. Then sighed, shifting back to prop himself up against the headboard, eyes fixed on the smoke-stained ceiling. “I know, I’m sorry. Just, sometimes I wish...”

Reaching up to the shelf, Gene grabbed his fags and lit up. Blew a smoke ring, then blew another one through the middle of it, just because he could. He glanced over at Sam, still resolutely not looking at him.

“Yeah, me too. Maybe, sometimes,” he conceded. “But I don’t do domestic, Sammy. I just don’t. I’m a bloody liability, ask the Missus. If you can find her,” he added with an edge of bitterness he wasn’t quite able to eradicate. Silence lay between them for a few moments, not uncomfortable.

“If it’s any consolation,” he added, “I do...well, you know.”

Sam finally looked back, expression softening into something approaching tenderness. “Yeah,” he answered, “I do know. And...it’s enough.”

“Right then,” Gene said decisively, stubbing out the last of his cigarette into the saucer making do as an ash tray. “Bloody glad we’ve got that out of the way before we both started growing tits. Now, if it’s not too much trouble, get your arse back over here. Geam’s not going to make himself, you know.”

“Ignoramus,” Sam yelped, breathless as he suddenly found himself buried under the full weight of a determined Gene. “Geam’s a girl’s name.”



(will xpost to lifein1973)

Comments:


severinne at 2012-07-31 00:11 (UTC) (Link)
Holy shit, I nearly spewed my drink out all over this. *mops daiquiri off the Geam*

I love you. So hard.

And how you made meta-fandom crack so in character at the same time is just, well, priceless. Really, did I say I... well, you know? I really do.

Thanks, that was awesome. *g*
I, being poor, have only my dreams.
bistokids at 2012-07-31 08:45 (UTC) (Link)
Daiquiri, eh? Get you!

Thanks! Glad you thought it was in character, especially (it's got to be 3 years at least since I actually watched LoM. Obviously they just live in a corner of my brain now! Can't work out if I'm pleased or disturbed by this).
chamekke
chamekke at 2012-07-31 01:45 (UTC) (Link)
Your internet babies, I shall bear them for you! Provided you name them ♥ ♥ ♥

*starry eyes of adoration*
I, being poor, have only my dreams.
bistokids at 2012-07-31 08:53 (UTC) (Link)
Ah, just call them all Bob. Saves time. (Besides, I take no credit for coming up with Geam - this portmanteau-ing of names thing kind of mystifies me!)

Thanks - glad you enjoyed. :)
talkingtothesky
talkingtothesky at 2012-07-31 05:57 (UTC) (Link)
Hello! Great to see your name pop up again. ♥

I am genuinely liking the fluff, even though it's intended to be crack.

“But I don’t do domestic, Sammy. I just don’t. I’m a bloody liability, ask the Missus. If you can find her,” he added with an edge of bitterness he wasn’t quite able to eradicate.
Gorgeous line.
I, being poor, have only my dreams.
bistokids at 2012-07-31 08:59 (UTC) (Link)
Hello yourself! Nice to be here! :D

Glad you liked it, and thanks for picking out that line - the latest in a long series of 'getting round the fact that Gene is supposed to be married' lines! And yes, the whole thing did turn out unexpectedly non-cracky, which I was quite pleased about.

Thanks for your lovely comment :)
Anonyma73
anonyma73 at 2012-07-31 07:31 (UTC) (Link)
OMG! Fic by bistokids!! Yay!! *hugs bistokids*

This is lovely. And hot. And sweet. And yes, I always knew they read lifein1973, LOL!

Thanks for writing this for us!

Anonyma
I, being poor, have only my dreams.
bistokids at 2012-07-31 09:07 (UTC) (Link)
*hugs back*

Thank you for reading and for such a lovely comment. It's nice to be back, although who knows when it'll happen again - I'll just have to wait for the muse (for which, read Loz) to come up with something else for me to make fun of get my teeth into!
Loz
lozenger8 at 2012-07-31 08:18 (UTC) (Link)
HI HI HI.

I LOVE YOU, YOU KNOW THAT, RIGHT?

You are the only person who could do this, like, seriously, ever. The only one to actually make this in character. Ugh, you're the absolute best.

All the laughter and love for you.
I, being poor, have only my dreams.
bistokids at 2012-07-31 09:13 (UTC) (Link)
*tackles you, clings, refuses to let go even when it gets awkward*

And you are the only person who could possibly give me inspiration to write something in a fandom where I generally feel I've nothing more to add. I love you, and I love your observational, on the nose, wtf-ish rants, and I love you.

Glad it gave you a laugh. ♥
fern_tree
fern_tree at 2012-07-31 11:26 (UTC) (Link)
BISTO FIC! <3

"Geam’s not going to make himself, you know."

Oh my god that line XD <3 This is fantastic. The meta-crack, the banter, and also the lovely little touches of angst <3 Perfect! :D
I, being poor, have only my dreams.
bistokids at 2012-07-31 13:04 (UTC) (Link)
Thanks! :D You're right, there was a surprising amount of (hopefully subdued) angst for a fic which was meant to do nothing more than have a bit of an affectionate dig at fandom. I think that Sam/Gene is just a naturally dark relationship. Still, they make up for it with all that lovely snark and gorgeousness!

Glad you liked it - thanks again.
basaltgrrl
basaltgrrl at 2012-07-31 13:01 (UTC) (Link)
Oh ggggod. I need some kind of starry-eyed adoration icon, cos a) this is sweet, cracky, funny perfection, and b) I love it when stars from the past pop back in with fic! It's like every kind of win at once, with sprinkles on top!

Geam Tunt! Hee hee hee hee!

*hugs you for good measure*
I, being poor, have only my dreams.
bistokids at 2012-07-31 13:18 (UTC) (Link)
Loving 'stars from the past'! Now I feel like one of those guys who roll into Bafta or wherever for a Lifetime Achievement award, and everyone goes 'My God, I thought he was dead!' The Internet is a wonderful wonderful place. *g*

Glad you liked the fic - it was fun to be writing again. :)
basaltgrrl
basaltgrrl at 2012-07-31 16:29 (UTC) (Link)
Hope "stars from the past" didn't seem insulting at all! It's just that, as someone who came late to this fandom, I've spent a lot of time reading great fic from people who were active we'll before I got here and then ran out of words. I definitely think of a lot of those people as stars, since their writings have been around long enough to achieve legendary status.
I, being poor, have only my dreams.
bistokids at 2012-07-31 16:48 (UTC) (Link)
I honestly could not be less insulted! Thrilled, is what I am. (And a bit amused!) But thank you for caring enough to make sure. ♥
Strike while the irony is hot
draycevixen at 2012-07-31 18:12 (UTC) (Link)

Hello you! *stand by for a twirling* ♥

You are, as ever, a magnificent beast... and your fiction's not bad either. *g*

Love the line about the piles and how Sam and Gene manage to say "I love you" without saying it at all.

Thanks, petal.
I, being poor, have only my dreams.
bistokids at 2012-08-01 13:24 (UTC) (Link)
*twirls you back*

A magnificent beast ... star of the past ... I'm Brian Blessed, aren't I? XD(sorry, that should read 'I AM BRIAN BLESSED!!1!')

Glad you enjoyed the story, and hopefully it won't be quite as long between twirls next time! (back to part time work next year, so I should be about a bit more, but I've learnt not to make promises I can't keep!)





Sweet talkin' lover of sin...
fightingthecage at 2012-07-31 19:13 (UTC) (Link)
This is completely brilliant, and adorable. I have a grin plastered all over my face. Fab! :D
I, being poor, have only my dreams.
bistokids at 2012-08-01 13:26 (UTC) (Link)
Oh, thank you! Really glad you enjoyed it.

(I am a bit in love with your Darcy. Always thought what P&P lacked was a good disco scene.)
Sweet talkin' lover of sin...
fightingthecage at 2012-08-01 22:11 (UTC) (Link)
A disco scene is the only thing that could have made it complete. Yes.
milly_gal
milly_gal at 2012-07-31 19:59 (UTC) (Link)
Oh miss kids I have missed you! As ever, awesome sauce on a plate. I loathe name/pairing smushing, and I love this, lol. You rule, everything, internet and everything!

This line makes my heart squeeze.

“But I don’t do domestic, Sammy. I just don’t. I’m a bloody liability, ask the Missus. If you can find her,” he added with an edge of bitterness he wasn’t quite able to eradicate.

Anyway, awesome to see your name pop up again and Basalt's right you know, star from the past deffo sums you up. I still get a little kick out of seeing your comments on my old fics :D xx


Edited at 2012-07-31 20:03 (UTC)
I, being poor, have only my dreams.
bistokids at 2012-08-01 13:33 (UTC) (Link)
I still get a little kick out of seeing your comments on my old fics

Feeling's mutual. I was re-reading some of the sillier interaction between us just the other day, and wondering where and how you were, and I hadn't realised YOU'RE BACK with a different name, and have been for ages and I just had no idea!

(You can't call me a star from the past - you were a legend before I even got here!)

Glad you enjoyed the fic, and that line - Gene blindsided me with it, tbh. There was not meant to be angst!

*hugs you tight*
milly_gal
milly_gal at 2012-08-01 13:38 (UTC) (Link)
Yepyepyepyep, it's me. My fics are still as daft and I still spam the comm, lol. Legend? Nah, pain in the butt with too much time on here hands.

So good to see you hun

*hugs and twirls* xx

Edited at 2012-08-01 13:42 (UTC)
Dana
danae_b at 2016-03-29 05:44 (UTC) (Link)
Hello there! I hope you don't mind me crawling into the comments of this kind of old yet SO INCREDIBLY CHARMING AND DELIGHTFUL STORY to heap my endless joy and delight on it. I love the banter and the teasing and how wonderfully in character it all is.

Searched you out because Loz mentioned your name and I wasn't quite sure I'd read any of your stuff before. I'm going to read it now!
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